The TIME Approach to Grief Support (BOOK EXCERPT, PT 12)

The Book Stop Blog is featuring excerpts from The TIME Approach to Grief Support by Edmund Ng and WinePress Publishing.

The TIME Approach to Grief Support by Edmund Ng

Manifestations of Normal Grief
The loss of a loved one is a devastating experience, and it is not surprising that the grieving person is overwhelmed by an avalanche of mixed feelings, thoughts, behaviors, and physical symptoms that are both exhausting and confusing. Most of these manifestations are temporary patterns of normal grief, and there is no need to be afraid of them. We may feel chaotic, messy, or even think we are going crazy, but the manifestations will not hurt or kill us. They will fade with time, and we need not quickly run to the hospital.
However, people who are recently bereaved must monitor their health closely. Grief saps up our energy, and our immune system is at its lowest. If we are physically unwell, we need medical attention. We also should seek professional help if the manifestations do not subside with time but instead persist or continue to escalate and become unbearable. In addition, if the bereaved has any suicidal inclination, it is important that he or she talks to the right people who are in a position to help him or her.
Listed below are some emotional, cognitive, behavioral, and physical manifestations of normal grief that people who are recently bereaved should not be too surprised to experience separately or in combination:
Emotional:

1. Disorientation and numbness
2. Sadness
3. Anger
4. Guilt
5. Anxiety
6. Loneliness
7. Fatigue
8. Depressed mood

Cognitive:

1. Disbelief
2. Confusion
3. Preoccupation with thoughts of the loss
4. Sense of presence of the deceased
5. Hallucinations
6. Identitycrisis
7. Losing purpose and hope in life

Behavioral:

1. Crying
2. Sleep disturbances
3. Social withdrawal
4. Loss of appetite
5. Absentmindedness or memory loss
6. Avoiding reminders of the deceased
7. Reliving the loss

Physical:

1. Stomach or chest pains
2. Constipation or diarrhea
3. Vomiting
4. Dryness of mouth or sore throat
5. Breathing difficulties
6. Headaches or migraine
7. Muscle cramps
8. Rapid heart rate
9. Oversensitivity to noise

In grief counseling, we must understand and interpret what are the normal grief behaviors and assure the bereaved about the normality of their new experiences. Hearing our assurance that what they are going through is normal will be very comforting to them, and there is tremendous therapeutic value in it.
To Continue Reading
The first excerpt in the series:


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